


Nobody

by watsonimholmes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Blood Addiction, Gen, Season/Series 05, after famine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 21:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watsonimholmes/pseuds/watsonimholmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Famine got Sam addicted to demon blood again, Dean and Cas have to get it all out of his system. Dean just can't take all the screaming and goes outside for some air. </p>
<p>A ficlet about Deans character. </p>
<p>Obviously these characters are not mine, I just enjoy writing about them. :D</p>
<p>Please leave a comment! (good or bad, I'm always striving to improve)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody

Dean had listened to Sams screams for 2 hours now, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. Not this again. Not the demon blood. It might kill him this time, and nothing would be able to bring him back. Cas looked at Dean sadly. 

“It’s not him in there. Not really.” Cas said, trying anything just to make his friend from doing the inevitable: drinking himself to sleep, and grabbing the bottle of whiskey first thing tomorrow morning. Dean took another swig from the bottle he was holding.

“I know.” he said, not really believing his own words. Cas saw right through him. 

“He just need to get it out of his system then he’ll be fi-“

“I know, I just, uh, I need to get some air.” Dean said, cutting Cas off. Sams sobs were the last thing he heard before he left the house. 

Dean walked out of Bobbys and towards the Impala. He took a look at his almost empty bottle of whiskey and just about threw it away. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was the only way he would sleep tonight, and the only comfort he had left. If he could even call it that. 

Famine was right. He was empty. No matter how much he drank, no matter how many monsters he killed, no matter how many woman he took advantage of, that emptiness inside the very core of him would never go away. It was only getting worse.

Not one day went by without Dean thinking about putting a gun in his mouth. It wasn’t even that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He stayed because if he died, Sam would say yes to Lucifer, and billions of people would die. And who was he to put himself in front of the entire world? 

It would be no use, anyways. If he really did pull the trigger, the angels would only bring him back. 

He hated this. This life. Why did the entire world rest on his shoulders anyways? Why the hell would they choose him? A barely functioning alcoholic with Daddy issues? He couldn’t save the world. The world was going to go to shit and there was nothing he could do about it. 

He was just so damn tired. Tired of being brought back to life just so he can die again. Tired of being responsible for every soul on the planet. Tired of watching his baby brother die, and worse. He just wanted some help.

Maybe if he shared this burden it wouldn’t be so bad. Someone who wasn’t a junkie or a broken angel. Because, let’s face it, they needed help. All three of them. They couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do it. He was going to let the world go to shit just because he was a spineless coward. 

Dean looked up, at the only star in the sky.

“Please.” He begged. “I can’t.” He started, but stopped, not able to admit it out loud. He took a deep breath. “I need some help. Please” he begged. 

He stood there, waiting. For something, for anything. A sign that somewhere, someone cared. 

All he heard was silence. Dean shook his head, as his eyes filled with tears.

He wasn’t going to get any help. Nobody cared. He would fight this battle, but he wasn’t going to live through it. But he was okay with that. He just wanted it to be over. 

As he looked up into the sky that night, it wasn’t the angels he was praying to. It wasn’t his father, or any other souls in heaven or hell, and it sure as hell wasn’t the demons. It was Deans last resort, but he was praying to God. 

The silence Dean heard after he begged for help was the loudest sound he’d heard in all his life.


End file.
